gloria

I was late for school that day and found our classroom empty. I was a bit disoriented then, thinking maybe we have an activity I wasn’t aware of, like a chain rosary or a general assembly? I looked for you guys and found you all huddled in the library, with eyes piercing at me, like I was some culprit of some recent chaos. Sr. Heidi invited me in, thankful that I was finally present. (What?) I sat down, my mind still trying to figure out what the hell went on. Then Sr. Heidi spoke, “You know that it has always been my policy not to name names, but today we will. Starting from you, (she pointed at someone from across the room) tell me who exactly you’re having problems with.” And that someone stood up and said, “Gloria”. (Huh?) Then another, “Gloria” and another, “Gloria”. (Hey, it wasn’t funny, you know.) Sr. Heidi stopped the interrogation and said “Okay, you seem to have a common problem here, so I’m just going to ask the whole class, anyone who thinks they are not concerned with this problem can now leave the room.” If I’m right, I think just about a quarter of the whole batch 1991 was allowed to leave. I went cold. I knew you were behind it. What happened to all the fun that we had?

When we were younger, we used to group up every weekend and bike down to “dangkalan” and do sorts of stuff, like getting lost among nipa leaves along the “sabang” in search of an alternate way towards the beach. Or when you and the guys swim across our own version of “The Blue Lagoon”, while I play with sand and collect specimens to differentiate sand, silt and clay. Wasn’t that fun? And when I got in SAA I was glad to know you were there too, thinking of all the fun that we could have as schoolmates again. And we did! From defying the CAT to dancing castanets and from ransacking the sisters’ refectory to giving leadership seminars in the barrios.

But that day in the library? I couldn't fully comprehend how it transpired. I just couldn’t believe you would take it that far. It was traumatic. I guess I never really knew you that well. Or maybe I’ve change and that I forgot how we were then, that it was just all fun for you.